Petition to Shut Down Provo Canyon School

Dork-with a Story (513)

/ #36

2019-11-05 06:09

          I'm doing a school project around Provo and what it did to me as a person. That is the ONLY reason I'm even on this site right now, re-visiting all these memories. it seems to be a reoccurring thing to say that while being there it feels like a part of you died... and I totally stay by that.
 
I lived there for about five years? and the only way that detail survived with me for this long is because it became a game among me and my peers. A sick twisted contest of who's been there the longest! that place had little kids quoting how long their stay was, like little bickering twins arguing over who's the oldest. my friend that was also there beat me by a year or two at least... and that would make me jealous. Because among us that meant she won. Won what exactly? To think that that very game might still be going on makes me sick.
 
        I was there before and after they added the splash pad, playground, and all the activities. And I'll tell you, the younger version of me would say that that was the best thing ever! But so is the hushing up a crying kid with candy tactic. they aren't lying when they call it a "mental" institution. mind manipulation is right up in their alley, and they knew EXACTLY what they were doing. they STILL do. my bad I forgot that I shouldn't use the past tense here. fires down in hell still burn there.
 
     By the time I got there most of the abuse and fighting were toned down, but I'm also a girl and was in the kid's sector. so I kinda lucked out with all that. But oooh boy! was the mental abuse really on frickin point! they have these rooms for kids that get out of control. the one in my cottage, (do they even still call them that???) had this painful bumpy jagged concrete or pavement floor. I messed up my knees pretty badly all the time in there. And the room had brick walls. here's a "funny" thing, apparently, when you are pissed, -no devasted and mentally tortured. the LAST thing you want to see is a happy little baby deer with pretty little birdies and a hollow and fake ass blue sky... staring down at you while you cry, helplessly.
 
         I don't want to negatively bash the place too much. because as much as I hate to say it, I did need a lot of the treatment there. I want the place to be gone, don't get me wrong, but some people do need the help that they provide. but I'll give them that only when IT IS USED IN MODERATION! and this seems to be a foreign concept to them.
 
       I want the place to die, and to stay dead! but I also think we need something like it to pop out of Provo's ashes. Something akin to it, but also something that can take what Provo was originally trying to do and do it right this time around. People are not designer hedges that you can trim and prune and brainwash to your liking. Even if all the pruning and cutting started out with good intentions.
 
This was 513, or Dork-with a Story.
and the last thing that I want to say is to everyone who reads this and all the other comments is: Remember to love yourself! and know that everything shapes us into who we are. this place might be hell. it surely was and is for me and many others commenting here but without "hell" or all of the bad what worth would any of the "good" have? Go give someone you love a hug! Or go harras a pet! But most importantly, have a beautiful day!